Should I Leave My Husband: Quiz & Expert Tips to Help You Decide

Takeaway: Are you at a crossroads in your relationship? My “Should I stay with my husband” quiz can help you decide what to do. Plus, I include some expert tips to give you even more advice about how to move forward.

Thinking about leaving your husband can feel like a daunting decision. Deciding to get a divorce or stay married takes careful consideration, and every relationship is different. Navigating the complexities of your marriage is something deeply personal, but you don’t have to do it alone. This quiz is here to help you clarify your thoughts and gain deeper insight into this tough decision.

In addition to this insightful ‘Should I get a divorce? quiz, you’ll also find my expert guidance and support as I share my suggestions on whether or not you should stay in this marriage.

Who & what my “Is it time to separate” quiz is for

This quiz is here to serve you if you’re wondering if it’s time to separate. Many of us find ourselves wrestling with uncertainty in our marriage. We might ask ourselves:

• Is separation a good idea?
• What about the children?
• What signs suggest we should get divorced?
• Can we fix it?
• Is the marriage with it anymore?
• Is it possible to overcome all these arguments?
• What will happen if I leave? 
• How will my life change? 
• How will his life change?

This ‘should I get a divorce’ quiz is a tool to point you in the direction of your true feelings. The quiz should serve as a guide, but it is not a source of definite answers. Marriage and relationship issues are complex so there’s no one size fits all quiz that will answer your questions for you. Still, it helps to have some guidance and support for that decision. Use this quiz, speak to trusted loved ones, and reach out for professional support when you need it.

Should I separate from my husband quiz

If you find that these thoughts are weighing you down, speak to a friend, therapist, counselor, or trusted family member. It’s unwise to keep it all in. 

The quiz below will provide you with a structured opportunity to explore your feelings about your marriage. As you do the quiz, remember to answer honestly. There’s no use in being dishonest with yourself. There are no right or wrong answers here – the goal is self-reflection, not a grade! Ready for the quiz? Let’s dive in.

Question 1: Communication

How often do you and your spouse openly communicate about your feelings, concerns, and dreams? Do you feel like your concerns matter to your husband? Consider the communication style and gauge its impact on your relationship.

A. We frequently communicate about feelings, concerns, and personal dreams

B. We communicate about these things sometimes

C. We rarely talk about our feelings and concerns

Question 2: Emotional Connection

Reflect on the emotional connection with your partner. How often do you experience a deep emotional bond or sense of closeness with him?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

Question 3: Conflict Resolution

Consider you and your husband’s approach to conflict management and resolution. Do you find constructive solutions together, or do issues linger and create unresolved tension and more arguments?

A. We find constructive solutions together

B. We deal with conflict but it’s messy and some things go unresolved

C. We rarely manage conflict well, and there is a lot of unresolved tension, blame, and resentment

Question 4: Vision for the future

Consider your vision for the future. Do you and your spouse align on life goals, e.g. career, family, lifestyle?

A. Our goals align well

B. There are some discrepancies in our respective visions for the future

C. Our future plans don’t align

Question 5: Intimacy

How often, or to what degree, do you and your partner connect intimately? Consider both physical and emotional intimacy and how both influence your overall marriage satisfaction.

A. Physical and emotional intimacy are strong in our relationship

B. We connect intimacy sometimes but there are periods of physical or emotional distance

C. We rarely connect intimately anymore

Question 6: Personal Growth

Consider how much encouragement and support you and your husband offer each other. Do you feel supported to grow in a way that serves your highest good? Do you feel comfortable pursuing things that make you feel happy?

A. We support each other’s personal growth and inspire hope for each other’s future

B. We support each other but the marriage sometimes gets in the way

C. It feels like we hinder each other’s personal growth and get in the way of each other’s goals

Question 7: Teamwork

Consider how you talk about crucial matters, such as expectations, children, and financial responsibilities. Do these conversations feel cooperative, or do they usually lead to a fight?

A. We focus on shared responsibilities and are effective in dealing with them together

B. Each person manages to follow through with our responsibilities but it takes extra effort

C. Conversations and requests around responsibilities often lead to an argument

Congratulations on getting through these questions! Remember, the purpose of this quiz is not to offer a definite answer. Instead, it shows you how you feel about important aspects of the relationship, such as intimacy, growth, and communication.

Interpreting your results

Now that you’ve answered these insightful questions, it’s time to interpret your results. We’ll consider the frequency of your A’s, B’s, and C’s and how they reflect your feelings about your relationship dynamics.

Mostly A: If you chose a lot of ‘A’ responses, your relationship seems to possess a lot of positive qualities. Communication, intimacy, and personal growth seem to be healthy. Don’t worry if you got mostly A’s but you’re still unsure about the marriage – marriages are complex and even when things look positive it’s normal to have questions and doubts.

Mostly B: If you chose mostly B, your marriage has some positive qualities but certain things could be improved. This is where you need to decide if working on those areas is worth it for you, or if you would rather no longer invest in the relationship. 

Mostly C: If your answers are predominantly C, that suggests certain factors in your relationship that may be impacting your well-being. Mostly C’s does not necessarily mean you should leave your husband, but it does indicate a benefit in seeking support and expressing your concerns to an unbiased friend or relationship professional. 

I advise you to seek support for your well-being during this time. As a certified Cincinnati therapist, I offer both couples and individual therapy for people going through your situation. Reaching out for support might seem daunting but it’s one of the most helpful things you can do for your mental health, especially in the context of your question.

Reasons why people divorce

“Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by leading parallel lives together.”
― John Gottman

Many marriages face issues that seem impossible to resolve. Resolution is possible in some cases, but it’s important to recognize when these issues are impacting your well-being, and whether the relationship is worth fighting for or if spouses should call it a day.

Common factors that lead a married couple to divorce or separation:

• Financial abuse, manipulative control over money and resources
• One partner carries an unequal share of responsibilities
• Issues in sex life – discrepancies in desire, lack of sex, low satisfaction
• Communication issues – inability to effectively express needs or concerns.
• Fundamental differences in core beliefs and values.
• Experiencing disrespect or feeling undervalued, repeated instances of belittlement or lack of respect
• Physical, emotional, or verbal abuse
• Issues consistently unaddressed or left unchanged
• One or both partner’s mental health issues impacting the relationship
• Infidelity, broken trust, multiple instances of cheating
• Feeling incompatible in the role of co-parents, worried about kids
• Feeling constrained in individual aspirations
• Feeling emotionally neglected or unsupported in the relationship, not connecting anymore
• Struggles with substance abuse affecting the stability of the relationship.
• Unwillingness to address or seek help for addictive behaviors

Relationships can be a source of great joy in our lives, but when partners are no longer on the same page, there is a risk of relationship breakdown. Remember that no matter how much you want your marriage to succeed, or how much you don’t want a divorce. your well-being should always take top priority.

My advice if you’re considering leaving your partner

I’m Julie, a certified therapist and counselor in Ohio offering compassionate support and expert guidance for individuals and couples. My approach is based on my decades of experience and training, so you can rest assured knowing that therapy with me is evidence-based, authentic, and focused on your highest well-being. 

As you consider getting professional support, let me offer some expert guidance for your situation. Whatever you decide to do, keep the advice below in mind. It will help you take care of your mental and emotional health as you navigate the complex terrain of your question. 

Consider Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is a non-judgmental, empathic space for exploring issues in your relationship and fostering mutual understanding. Goals of therapy involve rebuilding connection, cultivating healthy communication between partners, and helping you and your spouse make the best decisions for both of you. You can learn more about my approach to couples therapy here.

Prioritize your well-being

Consider the state of your mental and emotional health in this marriage and whether or not the relationship is serving you. Turn your attention to the presence or lack of things in your life that fulfill you or bring you peace, and if your marriage contributes to the lack of those things then you’re wise to ask the questions that brought you here. Individual therapy can help significantly in discovering and following your highest good. You can learn more about the power of individual therapy here. 

Practice communication

The quality of communication in your marriage can reveal the quality of the marriage itself. When communication breaks down and issues go unresolved, both partners suffer. Practice sharing your authentic views and feelings with your partner through non-judgmental, open conversation. Remember that communication is a two-way street, so don’t blame yourself if your spouse is unwilling to communicate in this way. 

Seek support from trusted loved ones

We all need a support network of trusted friends or family members when things get tough. Try sharing your story with trusted loved ones who can offer their unique perspective, let you express yourself, and help you deal with your tough question.  

Establish and uphold boundaries

During this challenging time, remember to set boundaries where necessary and commit to upholding them. Remember that boundaries are ours to uphold, not our spouse or anyone else. That means if your partner crosses a clearly expressed boundary, it’s your responsibility to act on that boundary. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support when it comes to boundary setting – boundaries protect and keep us safe, even when others don’t intentionally mean to harm us.

Many marriages go through periods of uncertainty. Exploring your uncertainty honestly and authentically is key to maintaining your well-being. Use this ‘Should I separate from my husband?’ quiz as a tool for insight, but don’t hesitate to reach out for more support. Working with a certified therapist such as myself can provide valuable insight and support for your decision. Reach out today by scheduling a free phone consultation and let’s discuss how therapy can help.