Takeaway: It can be hard to decide whether or not to stay in your relationship sometimes. My “when to leave a relationship quiz” can help you reflect on your decision. Plus, I give my expert tips on how else you can decide.
Ever found yourself at a relationship crossroads? Does the relationship have any hope? Is it time for a break, or is separation the answer?
Relationships can be tricky to navigate – especially when we wonder if we should even be in them! Deciding whether to stay, take a break, or leave requires careful consideration. Here, you’ll find guidance on support for your lingering question.
The ‘Should I stay in this relationship?’ quiz below will help you assess your true feelings. It aims to bring clarity to your questions and confidence in whichever decision you make. Later, you’ll find my expert advice on knowing when it’s time to leave a relationship and what you can do to put your mind at ease during this challenging time.
Who & what my “should I stay or go” quiz is for
I know that there is rarely a straightforward answer about whether or not you should leave your relationship. Relationships can be as complex as we are. The quiz below is not designed to give you a definitive answer but to help you make a more informed decision based on your authentic feelings and values.
You’ll gain a deeper understanding of your recurring feelings, views, and dynamics in your relationship. The goal is to inspire an honest evaluation of how your relationship serves your well-being, considering elements such as quality of communication, emotional connection, degree of trust, personal growth, and your vision of the future.
Should I leave my relationship? Quiz
Before we begin, remember that this quiz is here to serve as a guide for your reflection. There are no right or wrong answers. The intention is not to offer a definitive answer but to clarify your thoughts so you can make the decision you know is best for your well-being. Ready? Let’s dive in.
Question 1: Communication
How is the quality of communication in your relationship?
a) We communicate well about many things. It’s consistent, open, and honest.
b) Generally open, but sometimes lacking
c) Rarely open, inconsistent
Question 2: Emotional Connection
How emotionally connected do you feel to your partner? Do you find a quality friend in them?
a) I feel a strong emotional connection to my partner. They are a great friend and partner in one.
b) I feel connected to my partner, but there are times of emotional distance
c) I feel little to no emotional connection to my partner
Question 3: Trust
Describe the level of trust in your relationship.
a) Trust is strong in my relationship
b) We trust each other, but that trust is tested sometimes
c) Trust is lacking or broken
Question 4: Personal Growth
Do you feel that your relationship supports your personal growth?
a) Yes, I feel that this relationship supports my personal growth
b) Sometimes. There are occasional conflicts or setbacks.
c) No, I feel like this relationship hinders my personal growth
Question 5: Resentment
Do you experience feelings of resentment toward your partner?
a) I rarely experience resentment in my relationship
b) I sometimes feel resentment from the past, but we talk about it
c) I frequently feel resentment in my relationship and we don’t talk about it – things are left unchanged
Question 6: Happiness
How would you rate your happiness in the relationship on a scale of 1 to 10?
a) 8-10: I’m very happy in my relationship
b) 5-7: I’m happy but there are times when I don’t feel happy in the relationship anymore
c) 1-4: I feel unhappy/unsatisfied in my relationship, I’m getting sick of it
Question 7: Outlook for the future
Consider your dream or vision for the future. How does your partner fit in that vision?
a) My partner is an important part of my future plans
b) I’m not sure about my partner’s role in my future plans
c) I don’t see my partner in my plans for the future
Question 8: Reconnection
Think of a time when you experienced a lost sense of connection in the relationship. How did you and your partner approach the situation and reconnect?
a) We decided to discuss our feelings, describe our perspective, and focus on reconnecting
b) We tried to speak about the problem and explain our feelings, but it was a struggle
c) The feeling of being lost persisted and nothing really changed
Question 9: Desire
How do you and your partner express and fulfill each other’s desire?
a) We are open about expressing and fulfilling desire, we find it exciting
b) We spend time talking about desire, but sometimes it feels a bit forced or awkward
c) At this stage it feels like there’s no point even talking about it
Remember that the more honesty you bring to these questions, the more clarity you’ll gain. Let this quiz serve as a tool for reflection to help you make an informed decision about how to move forward.
Interpreting your results
Taking this ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ quiz is a step on the journey to deeper self-discovery. The response you chose (A, B, or C) indicates your true feelings. We can use our true feelings to navigate big life decisions, especially when we practice radical honesty with ourselves.
Mostly A: If you mostly chose answer A, then your relationship seems to possess the qualities of a good relationship. It involves open communication, trust, and growth between partners. If you chose mostly A’s but you still feel unsure about your relationship, that’s ok! Take it as an opportunity to explore your feelings in more depth.
Mixed answers: If your answers were a mix of A’s and B’s (with some or no C’s) then your relationship sounds positive yet challenging. All relationships are nuanced and there may be times when you choose different answers. Keep in mind which answers you lean toward – that can show you areas where your relationship may need some loving attention.
Mostly C: If your answers are predominantly C, it sounds like there’s a lack of communication and trust in your relationship. Trust and communication are key to both personal and relationship health, so it’s worth taking note of these feelings. Mostly C’s does not mean your relationship is doomed but it does mean that you may benefit from extra support for your relationship issues, such as couples therapy.
Relationships are nuanced, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to what constitutes a good relationship. The main factor in a good relationship is that you feel healthy and supported. If you don’t feel this way in your relationship then it may not be serving your well-being.
Remember that the decision to stay or leave is deeply personal, so avoid rash decisions. Seek guidance and support from loved ones and/or a professional to help you make the right decision for you.
Tips for deciding whether to stay or go
Hopefully the ‘Should I Stay In A Relationship’ Quiz has helped you gain clarity, but don’t worry if you’re still unsure! I’ve included some practical tips below, drawn from years of experience, to offer guidance and support for your process.
Reflect on your boundaries
Think about your personal boundaries. Do you feel that they are respected in your relationship? Each person has a responsibility to set boundaries that feel right for them – it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to respect those boundaries. Your boundaries are supposed to be yours to uphold, but if someone chooses to not respect them, let that inform your decision-making process. Consider also how comfortable you feel expressing your boundaries, and your partner’s influence on that level of comfort.
Consider communication patterns
You’ve heard it many times, but don’t forget that healthy communication is the foundation of any good relationship. If communication is lacking then address the issue. Unresolved conflicts only lead to resentment, and holding onto resentment is detrimental to your mental health and emotional well-being.
Think about your future
We can’t always predict the future, but it helps to have a vision for what you want in your life. Does your relationship inspire hope for the future? Try spending time considering your long-term goals and dreams, and whether or not your current relationship aligns with those goals and dreams. Do you support each other’s future plans or are there fundamental differences at play? Is the relationship worth saving?
Consider your well-being
If you’re wondering if you should stay or walk, consider your mental and emotional well-being in the context of the relationship. Do you feel loved, supported, and valued by this person? Does this person make you feel good? Is the connection fun? Or is this person a source of stress and questions about your self-worth? Remember that a good relationship is something that contributes positively to your well-being, not something that jeopardizes it.
Seek support from friends and family
One circumstance that can lead to relationship hell is not having a strong support network outside of the relationship. It can be complex when others get involved in our relationships, but friends and trusted family members can offer significant support when you sense relationship uncertainty. Connect with a trusted person who can give you space to vent, express your ideas and concerns, focus on your well-being, and help you determine the right choice for you.
Seek couples therapy
The questions on your mind are important. Deciding whether or not a relationship is worth investing in or leaving is a big life decision, but you don’t have to go through it all alone. Professional support from a trained, experienced therapist can make a world of difference.
As a certified couples therapist, I help long-term partners figure out their situation based on the principles of the Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John Gottman and Julie Gottman. You’d be amazed at how these simple tools and techniques for communication and collaboration can transform your relationship! If you’d like a better idea about how couples therapy can help, check out my couples therapy page here.
The choice to stay in your current relationship or leave is absolutely personal and may require some extra help. Know that compassionate, experienced, and evidence-based support is available as soon you’re ready to reach out. If you want to know more, don’t hesitate to schedule a free phone consultation today!